How to know if your boyfriend is cheating in a long distance relationship

This is because due to the nature of a long-distance relationship, you can't physically see what your partners doing all day. This can leave you wondering how to know if your boyfriend is cheating? Today, I'm going to outline a few things that could be signs that your boyfriend is cheating in a long-distance relationship.

1. You feel like something has changed.

You know your boyfriend better than anyone. So if you feel like something is wrong, you're probably right.

In long-distance relationships, we can't rely on our gut the same way we might in a regular relationship, where we share each other's daily experiences and have constant face time with each other. But don't let that throw you off your game. Just because long-distance relationships allow for a little more privacy doesn't mean that your instincts are any less relevant—in fact, it's probably even more important to pay attention to them when you're in a long-distance relationship.

2. They seem distant or distracted.

Sometimes it's hard to tell if your partner is being distant because of the distance, or because they're cheating. It can be especially hard if you've had issues with trust in the past.

It's easy to feel isolated in a long-distance relationship—you already have the physical distance between you, and then there's the emotional distance, too. If your partner is being intentionally distant or distracted for their own reasons, that can feel like a double whammy.

3. There’s a lot of unexplained travel.

This is a dead giveaway that he is probably seeing other girls when he goes on his business trips or visiting his family out of town. You should definitely ask him what his travel schedule looks like in the near future so you can see if there are any patterns or repeated trips that don’t seem necessary.

If there's any way a friend or family member could help you with it, or even just listen while you talk about it, that might make things easier.

Just remember: if he's lying to you about something this big, then he doesn't deserve your trust or your love.

4. You've lost access to their phone or social media accounts.

Unfortunately, there's no easy way to know for sure. If you've lost access to your significant other's phone or social media accounts and you're in a long-distance relationship, your best bet is to talk about it with them openly. Try asking them about their life and what's been going on lately. Don't confront them with accusations; just ask questions, listen to their answers, and trust your gut.

If you think something is up, try talking to friends and family members who are close to the other person. Do they have any insight?

You can also try asking for more space yourself to see if the other person responds by opening up more.

5. They start to need more time than before to get back to texts or emails.

One of the biggest signs? If it takes them longer to get back to your texts or emails than it used to—and they don't have a good excuse for why.

Maybe they were always quick to respond before, and now they say they're too busy with work, or that their phone is off because they're charging it. A lot of people are bad at lying, so if they're doing this, you'll probably notice some other cues as well—like maybe they'll stammer a bit, or start sweating profusely when you ask them what's going on.

If this happens, express why you're upset, and try not to blow up at them in anger (though we know how hard that can be). Instead, calmly explain how their behavior makes you feel (hurt and scared), and give them a chance to open up about what's really going on. If all else fails, remember you deserve better!

6. You notice his interests have suddenly changed and he doesn't want to do the things you used to do together.

A lot of long-distance relationships revolve around shared interests and activities. If he's no longer as excited as doing those things with you—even his favorite activities—it could mean that he's spending his time with someone new.

7. He doesn't like talking about the future.

First of all, does he talk about the future? If you bring up something like moving in together and he doesn't even want to discuss it, that's a big red flag. Or if you ask him to meet your parents and he says "I'm busy," but then you find out he went on vacation with his friends instead of spending time with you, that could mean trouble.

If you notice any of these things happening in your relationship, it might be time to have a frank conversation with him about what's going on. The best way to do this is by asking questions about specific examples where he didn't seem so sure about things. It can be helpful to tell him how these things made you feel—but don't blame him for how you felt! Just describe the situation and be honest about how it made you feel. Then ask him why he chose not to spend time with you or what was so important that he couldn't meet your parents.

8. He gets really angry at everything you say.

But there's one sign of possible infidelity that people often miss: sudden and inexplicable anger. If your boyfriend is suddenly getting mad at everything you say, he's probably not really mad at you. He's probably just mad and guilty about what he's doing behind your back.

Take it from us: we know how tough long-distance relationships can be. They're hard enough without having to worry about whether or not your significant other is being faithful to you. If your boyfriend seems like he's cheating, don't feel bad for asking him about it. If you need help setting up an intervention, just let us know! Contact Us.

9. Has an unusually high number of "work emergencies"

When all of a sudden your boyfriend starts having tons of "work emergencies" and has to cancel his visits home, it can be tempting to jump to the worst possible conclusion. But before you freak out and start posting screeds on Twitter, take a moment to look at the situation carefully. Have you asked him what's going on? Have you given him space and time? Has he done anything else that makes you suspicious?

If your partner isn't normally this flaky, then something is definitely up. Maybe he got promoted or switched positions at work and has new responsibilities that keep him busy. Maybe he's trying to get over a cold or the flu. Maybe he got caught up in holiday shopping or planning his Christmas party at work. Maybe he just… forgot?

It might be hard to believe, but sometimes these things happen! People are human beings and make mistakes.

But if you've asked him what's going on, given him space and time, and still feel like something is off, it might be time for more drastic measures.

10. Starts talking about "new friends" more and more.

New Friends

You've been hearing about his new friends a lot lately. Maybe he doesn't seem to mention them much when the two of you talk, but when you ask him about it, he says there's no reason for you to meet them yet. Watch out! There's a possibility he doesn't want you to meet his "friends" because they're actually friends with benefits.

New Interests

Suddenly he's into new things that don't really seem like him at all. Maybe he never cared about politics before, but now he's always talking about it—or maybe he suddenly has an interest in video games, even though he was never into that kind of thing before. It could be a sign that something is different in his life—like maybe a new girl who likes those things!

11. He stops sending you pictures as often.

One of the most obvious signs that he might be seeing someone else is when his pictures start drying up. Imagine this: You and your boyfriend have been talking for a while now, and he's sending you cute selfies every day. Then, all of a sudden, the pictures stop coming in on a regular basis (or at all). What does this mean? Well, it could mean that he's cheating on you. If he's having fun with another girl, chances are he'll be posting more pictures with her than he would with you.

Another sign that he might be seeing someone else is if he starts acting differently around you. It might seem like an odd thing to notice, but sometimes small changes in behavior can indicate a big change in how your boyfriend feels about you. If your boyfriend starts acting differently around you, then it might be time to consider whether or not there's someone else in his life.

12. He doesn't seem to be as invested in the conversation anymore.

Maybe your boyfriend isn't as invested in the conversation anymore—but he also might be tired! Maybe he had a bad day at work! Maybe he's sick! Make sure to have some examples from different conversations, and then talk to him about it. Try not to come out of the gate accusing him of cheating. Instead, tell him that things have been feeling different lately between the two of you, and ask if there's anything going on that he wants to talk about.

13. He tells you that he's not sure how he feels about you anymore.

If he says that he's "not sure how he feels about you anymore," it probably means that there's another woman in his life, and he's trying to figure out how to break things off with her. We know this sounds harsh, but long-distance relationships are hard, and people cheat. It's a sad fact of life.

Don't let this get you down—you should definitely not blame yourself for what happened and know that you will find someone who is as committed to you as you are to them. You deserve that!

14. He starts calling you by pet names.

He starts calling you by pet names like "lovebug" or "honey bunches." While these are cute in their own right, they're also a great way for a cheater to keep all of his women straight. If you suddenly have a sweet nickname, then it's possible he has started saying the same thing to someone else. If he doesn't do anything about it, then it's definitely over.

Before ending a relationship, it's a good idea to be certain that you're making the right decision. If your relationship is based on mistrust and suspicion, however, using the methods outlined above to find out if your boyfriend is cheating is likely to make you feel worse than you did before.

Wherever you are in the world, cheating is wrong and it is bad news. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, then you will never know. But if he isn't, then all this worrying can do more harm than good. To be sure, it's worth going through a process of elimination to try to isolate whether or not your boyfriend is being faithful. Plus, it doesn't hurt to have a bit of reassurance here and there. But in the end, the only person you can truly rely on is yourself. So make sure that you're taking care of yourself too, no matter what happens in your relationship.